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Greenbrier Academy’s Headmaster Presents at SBSA

The Psychology of Skinny Dipping: Revealing Our Shame, Exposing Our Character Flaws and Transforming The Vision of Our Core Beliefs”.

Last month at the Small Boarding School Association (SBSA) Convention held in Cleveland, Ohio, our Headmaster, Dr. Mark Dennison was asked to present. The topic of his presentation was the determent of shame-based beliefs in a variety of context including academics.

He explained that many of the situations we find ourselves in everyday, whether adult, adolescent or child, can reinforce negative beliefs about our selves, if we are not mindful. Often these situations can accentuate our weaknesses and set us apart from others. This frequently leads to feelings of shame.

“Shame can be a debilitating feeling and belief.” Dr. Dennison said. “The most useful definition of shame for me is: a feeling of inner worthlessness or despair about ever being good enough. Beliefs about self built on shame are marked by thinking or feeling that one is irreparably damaged or defective. It’s an insidious belief that sabotages so many promising lives. We need to do more about it as educators, parents and human beings”

Dr. Dennison’s presentation caught a lot of attention. He titled it “The Psychology of Skinny Dipping: Revealing Our Shame, Exposing Our Character Flaws and Transforming The Vision of Our Core Beliefs”.

During his presentation he explained that “shame based” beliefs voice to us that as individuals we are flawed, incapable of love and acceptance, are failures and should detach from relationships, attempts at success should be avoided for fear of failure and further rejection, and accept that we are simply just not good enough. . Shame-based people conceal their true selves from others and ultimately from themselves.

Shame carries pain, the intolerable fear of exposing one’s self, leads to avoidance, substance abuse, academic failure, withdraw and isolation. The shame may be so internalized that it distorts the individuals perception and memory and can lead to disassociation, attachment related disorders, inappropriate sexual relationships including many sexual partners to fill the emptiness or numb the feelings of being shamed.

Dr. Dennison urged attendees to be mindful about the many environments that “shame basing” can occur and specifically addressed the academic setting. “Teachers can contribute to ‘shame basing’ by engaging in approaches that emphasis a students academic weakness, negative discipline philosophies, failure to provide alternative routes to academic success and credit options, failing to recognize a student’s individual learning style and engaging in a ‘one-size fits all’ academic mentality.”

He then offered several strategies to change the attitude of teaching in the classroom to one that fosters a safe and nurturing environment where students were free to explore all possibilities toward academic success. Among these strategies were creating an appropriate learning environment, no-fail policies, prodigal principles, alternative learning options for credit, hiring the right teachers with the right vision and attitude, changing classroom interventions that enhanced student participation and built upon the individual students strengthens. “These students are our future,” Dr. Dennison stated. “We can’t do enough to help set them up for success. The more confident they are to work through problems, find solutions and embrace life’s challenges without shame, the better off we all will be.”